Life on the Mississippi

Life on the Mississippi – Mark Twain

When Mark Twain was seventeen he went back to the home of his boyhood resolved to become a pilot on the Mississippi. How he learnt the river he has told us in ‚Life on the Mississippi,‘ wherein his adventures, his experiences, and his impressions while he was a cub-pilot are recorded with a combination of precise veracity and abundant humor which makes the earlier chapters of that marvelous book a most masterly fragment of autobiography. The life of a pilot was full of interest and excitement and opportunity, and what young Clemens saw and heard and divined during the years when he was going up and down the mighty river we may read in these pages.

Life on the Mississippi

Life on the Mississippi

Format: Paperback

Life on the Mississippi.

ISBN: 9783849674991.

Available at amazon.com and other venues.

 

Contents of Life on the Mississippi (from Wikipedia):

Chapter 1
The Mississippi is Well worth Reading about.–It is Remarkable.– Instead of Widening towards its Mouth, it grows Narrower.–It Empties four hundred and six million Tons of Mud.–It was First Seen in 1542. –It is Older than some Pages in European History.–De Soto has the Pull.–Older than the Atlantic Coast.–Some Half-breeds chip in.–La Salle Thinks he will Take a Hand

Chapter 2
La Salle again Appears, and so does a Cat-fish.–Buffaloes also.– Some Indian Paintings are Seen on the Rocks.–„The Father of Waters“ does not Flow into the Pacific.–More History and Indians. –Some Curious Performances–not Early English.–Natchez, or the Site of it, is Approached

Chapter 3
A little History.–Early Commerce.–Coal Fleets and Timber Rafts.– We start on a Voyage.–I seek Information.–Some Music.–The Trouble begins.–Tall Talk.–The Child of Calamity.–Ground and lofty Tumbling.–The Wash-up.–Business and Statistics.– Mysterious Band.–Thunder and Lightning.–The Captain speaks. –Allbright weeps.–The Mystery settled.–Chaff.–I am Discovered.–Some Art-work proposed.–I give an Account of Myself.– Released

Chapter 4
The Boys‘ Ambition.–Village Scenes.–Steamboat Pictures.–A Heavy Swell.–A Runaway

Chapter 5
A Traveller.–A Lively Talker.–A Wild-cat Victim

Chapter 6
Besieging the Pilot.–Taken along.–Spoiling a Nap.–Fishing for a Plantation.–„Points“ on the River.–A Gorgeous Pilot-house

Chapter 7
River Inspectors.–Cottonwoods and Plum Point.–Hat-Island Crossing.–Touch and Go.–It is a Go.–A Lightning Pilot

Chapter 8
A Heavy-loaded Big Gun.–Sharp Sights in Darkness.–Abandoned to his Fate.–Scraping the Banks.–Learn him or Kill him

Chapter 9
Shake the Reef.–Reason Dethroned.–The Face of the Water– A Bewitching Scene.–Romance and Beauty

Chapter 10
Putting on Airs.–Taken down a bit.–Learn it as it is.–The River Rising

Chapter 11
In the Tract Business.–Effects of the Rise.–Plantations gone.–A Measureless Sea.–A Somnambulist Pilot.–Supernatural Piloting. –Nobody there.–All Saved

Chapter 12
Low Water.–Yawl sounding.–Buoys and Lanterns.–Cubs and Soundings.–The Boat Sunk.–Seeking the Wrecked

Chapter 13
A Pilot’s Memory.–Wages soaring.–A Universal Grasp.–Skill and Nerve.–Testing a „Cub.“–„Back her for Life.“–A Good Lesson

Chapter 14
Pilots and Captains.–High-priced Pilots.–Pilots in Demand.–A Whistler.–A cheap Trade–Two-hundred-and-fifty-dollar Speed

Chapter 15
New Pilots undermining the Pilots‘ Association.–Crutches and Wages. –Putting on Airs.–The Captains Weaken.–The Association Laughs.–The Secret Sign.–An Admirable System.–Rough on Outsiders.–A Tight Monopoly.–No Loophole.–The Railroads and the War

Chapter 16
All Aboard.–A Glorious Start.–Loaded to Win.–Bands and Bugles. –Boats and Boats.–Racers and Racing

Chapter 17
Cut-offs.–Ditching and Shooting.–Mississippi Changes.–A Wild Night.–Swearing and Guessing.–Stephen in Debt.–He Confuses his Creditors.–He makes a New Deal.–Will Pay them Alphabetically

Chapter 18
Sharp Schooling.–Shadows.–I am Inspected.–Where did you get them Shoes?–Pull her Down–I want to kill Brown.–I try to run her.–I am Complimented

Chapter 19
A Question of Veracity.–A Little Unpleasantness.–I have an Audience with the Captain.–Mr. Brown Retires

Chapter 20
I become a Passenger.–We hear the News.–A Thunderous Crash.– They Stand to their Posts.–In the Blazing Sun.–A Grewsome Spectacle.–His Hour has Struck

Chapter 21
I get my License.–The War Begins.–I become a Jack-of-all-trades

Chapter 22
I try the Alias Business.–Region of Goatees.–Boots begin to Appear.– The River Man is Missing.–The Young Man is Discouraged.– Specimen Water.–A Fine Quality of Smoke.–A Supreme Mistake. –We Inspect the Town.–Desolation Way-traffic.–A Wood-yard

Chapter 23
Old French Settlements.–We start for Memphis.–Young Ladies and Russia-leather Bags

Chapter 24
I receive some Information.–Alligator Boats.–Alligator Talk.–She was a Rattler to go.–I am Found Out

Chapter 25
The Devil’s Oven and Table.–A Bombshell falls.–No Whitewash.– Thirty Years on the River.–Mississippi Uniforms.–Accidents and Casualties.–Two hundred Wrecks.–A Loss to Literature.– Sunday-Schools and Brick Masons

Chapter 26
War Talk.–I Tilt over Backwards.–Fifteen Shot-holes.–A Plain Story.–Wars and Feuds.–Darnell versus Watson.–A Gang and a Woodpile.–Western Grammar.–River Changes.–New Madrid. –Floods and Falls

Chapter 27
Tourists and their Note-books.–Captain Hall.–Mrs. Trollope’s Emotions.–Hon. Charles Augustus Murray’s Sentiment.–Captain Marryat’s Sensations.–Alexander Mackay’s Feelings.–Mr. Parkman Reports

Chapter 28
Swinging down the River.–Named for Me.–Plum Point again.– Lights and Snag Boats.–Infinite Changes.–A Lawless River.– Changes and Jetties.–Uncle Mumford Testifies.–Pegging the River.–What the Government does.–The Commission Men and Theories. „Had them Bad.“–Jews and Prices

Chapter 29
Murel’s Gang.–A Consummate Villain.–Getting Rid of Witnesses.– Stewart turns Traitor.–I Start a Rebellion.–I get a New Suit of Clothes.–We Cover our Tracks.–Pluck and Capacity.–A Good Samaritan City.–The Old and the New

Chapter 30
A Melancholy Picture.–On the Move.–River Gossip.–She Went By a-Sparklin‘.–Amenities of Life.–A World of Misinformation.– Eloquence of Silence.–Striking a Snag.–Photographically Exact. –Plank Side-walks

Chapter 31
Mutinous Language.–The Dead-house.–Cast-iron German and Flexible English.–A Dying Man’s Confession.–I am Bound and Gagged.–I get Myself Free.–I Begin my Search.–The Man with one Thumb.–Red Paint and White Paper.–He Dropped on his Knees.–Fright and Gratitude.–I Fled through the Woods.–A Grisly Spectacle.–Shout, Man, Shout.–A look of Surprise and Triumph.–The Muffled Gurgle of a Mocking Laugh.–How strangely Things happen.–The Hidden Money

Chapter 32
Ritter’s Narrative.–A Question of Money.–Napoleon.–Somebody is Serious.–Where the Prettiest Girl used to Live

Chapter 33
A Question of Division.–A Place where there was no License.–The Calhoun Land Company.–A Cotton-planter’s Estimate.–Halifax and Watermelons.–Jewelled-up Bar-keepers

Chapter 34
An Austere Man.–A Mosquito Policy.–Facts dressed in Tights.–A swelled Left Ear

Chapter 35
Signs and Sears.–Cannon-thunder Rages.–Cave-dwellers.–A Continual Sunday.–A ton of Iron and no Glass.–The Ardent is Saved. –Mule Meat.–A National Cemetery.–A Dog and a Shell.– Railroads and Wealth.–Wharfage Economy.–Vicksburg versus The „Gold Dust.“–A Narrative in Anticipation

Chapter 36
The Professor Spins a Yarn.–An Enthusiast in Cattle.–He makes a Proposition.–Loading Beeves at Acapulco.–He was n’t Raised to it –He is Roped In.–His Dull Eyes Lit Up.–Four Aces, you Ass!– He does n’t Care for the Gores

Chapter 37
A Terrible Disaster.–The „Gold Dust“ explodes her Boilers.–The End of a Good Man . . . . .

Chapter 38
Mr. Dickens has a Word.–Best Dwellings and their Furniture.–Albums and Music.–Pantelettes and Conch-shells.–Sugar-candy Rabbits and Photographs.–Horse-hair Sofas and Snuffers.–Rag Carpets and Bridal Chambers

Chapter 39
Rowdies and Beauty.–Ice as Jewelry.–Ice Manufacture.–More Statistics.–Some Drummers.–Oleomargarine versus Butter.–Olive Oil versus Cotton Seed.–The Answer was not Caught.–A Terrific Episode.–A Sulphurous Canopy.–The Demons of War.–The Terrible Gauntlet

Chapter 40
In Flowers, like a Bride.–A White-washed Castle.–A Southern Prospectus.–Pretty Pictures.–An Alligator’s Meal

Chapter 41
The Approaches to New Orleans.–A Stirring Street.–Sanitary Improvements.–Journalistic Achievements.–Cisterns and Wells .

Chapter 42
Beautiful Grave-yards.–Chameleons and Panaceas.–Inhumation and Infection.–Mortality and Epidemics.–The Cost of Funerals

Chapter 43
I meet an Acquaintance.–Coffins and Swell Houses.–Mrs. O’Flaherty goes One Better.–Epidemics and Embamming.–Six hundred for a Good Case.–Joyful High Spirits

Chapter 44
French and Spanish Parts of the City.–Mr. Cable and the Ancient Quarter.–Cabbages and Bouquets.–Cows and Children.–The Shell Road.–The West End.–A Good Square Meal.–The Pompano.–The Broom-Brigade.–Historical Painting.–Southern Speech.–Lagniappe

Chapter 45
„Waw“ Talk.–Cock-Fighting.–Too Much to Bear.–Fine Writing. –Mule Racing

Chapter 46
Mardi-Gras.–The Mystic Crewe.–Rex and Relics.–Sir Walter Scott. –A World Set Back.–Titles and Decorations.–A Change

Chapter 47
Uncle Remus.–The Children Disappointed.–We Read Aloud.–Mr. Cable and Jean ah Poquelin.–Involuntary Trespass.–The Gilded Age.–An Impossible Combination.–The Owner Materializes.– and Protests

Chapter 48
Tight Curls and Springy Steps.–Steam-plows.–„No. I.“ Sugar.–A Frankenstein Laugh.–Spiritual Postage.–A Place where there are no Butchers or Plumbers.–Idiotic Spasms

Chapter 49
Pilot-Farmers.–Working on Shares.–Consequences.–Men who Stick to their Posts.–He saw what he would do.–A Day after the Fair

Chapter50
A Patriarch.—-Leaves from a Diary.–A Tongue-stopper.–The Ancient Mariner.–Pilloried in Print.–Petrified Truth

Chapter 51
A Fresh „Cub“ at the Wheel.–A Valley Storm.–Some Remarks on Construction.–Sock and Buskin.–The Man who never played Hamlet.–I got Thirsty.–Sunday Statistics

Chapter 52
I Collar an Idea.–A Graduate of Harvard.–A Penitent Thief.–His Story in the Pulpit.–Something Symmetrical.–A Literary Artist. –A Model Epistle.–Pumps again Working.–The „Nub“ of the Note

Chapter 53
A Masterly Retreat.–A Town at Rest.–Boyhood’s Pranks.–Friends of my Youth.–The Refuge for Imbeciles.–I am Presented with my Measure

Chapter 54
A Special Judgment.–Celestial Interest.–A Night of Agony.– Another Bad Attack.–I become Convalescent.–I address a Sunday-school.–A Model Boy

Chapter 55
A second Generation.–A hundred thousand Tons of Saddles.–A Dark and Dreadful Secret.–A Large Family.–A Golden-haired Darling. –The Mysterious Cross.–My Idol is Broken.–A Bad Season of Chills and Fever.–An Interesting Cave

Chapter 56
Perverted History.–A Guilty Conscience.–A Supposititious Case.–A Habit to be Cultivated.–I Drop my Burden.–Difference in Time

Chapter 57
A Model Town.–A Town that Comes up to Blow in the Summer.–The Scare-crow Dean.–Spouting Smoke and Flame.–An Atmosphere that tastes good.–The Sunset Land

Chapter 58
An Independent Race.–Twenty-four-hour Towns.–Enchanting Scenery.–The Home of the Plow.–Black Hawk.–Fluctuating Securities.–A Contrast–Electric Lights

Chapter 59
Indian Traditions and Rattlesnakes.–A Three-ton Word.–Chimney Rock.–The Panorama Man.–A Good Jump.–The Undying Head. –Peboan and Seegwun

Chapter 60
The Head of Navigation.–From Roses to Snow.–Climatic Vaccination.–A Long Ride.–Bones of Poverty.–The Pioneer of Civilization.–Jug of Empire.–Siamese Twins.–The Sugar-bush.–He Wins his Bride.–The Mystery about the Blanket.–A City that is always a Novelty.–Home again

 

(The text of the last section was taken from a Wikipedia entry and is available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.)

 

Publisher’s Note: This book is printed and distributed by Createspace a DBA of On-Demand Publishing LLC and is typically not available anywhere else than in stores owned and operated by Amazon or Createspace.

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